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| Author | Topic: Weird Questions? Ask 'em |
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lostladyknight Moderator |
posted 01-03-2007 09:06 PM
   
I did. When I was growing up. My uncle Gus was a gay man with a partner. I think it was "Aunt Joe" but I'm not sure. They both had AIDS. He died when I was about 9 though, so I don't really really remember him. IP: Logged |
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Plant a Note Moderator |
posted 01-03-2007 10:00 PM
quote: I did. My best friend from my childhood years had an older brother who was born a hemophiliac. He was born in 1979, before AIDS was really recognized. Before he turned two years old he had a blood transfusion, that was, unfortunately, tainted blood. He died at 16 years old. We were 12. [This message has been edited by Plant a Note (edited 01-03-2007).] IP: Logged |
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The Scarecrow Member |
posted 01-03-2007 11:21 PM
I could be jumping the gun, but I think my teacher, the one I always talk about, has the virus. I didn't just..decide, that he did. A friend and I did our research, and he has shown many of the symptoms. I am terrified. And I feel so godamn helpless. IP: Logged |
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lostladyknight Moderator |
posted 01-04-2007 12:14 AM
quote: I'd be worried about jumping the gun and starting a nasty rumor that could end up losing the man's job. If you really do fear that he has AIDS, talk to him. I don't suggest you tell your friends, or other people. You really could end up hurting him in the long run. Basically just talk to him. Alone. Maybe write him a letter or email. And I'd be careful of this too, because you could end up hurting the relationship you have with him. Which I believe you want to protect.
Though, I hope, for his sake and yours, that he does not. IP: Logged |
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munchkin Member |
posted 01-04-2007 06:46 AM
Be very, very careful if you talk to him about that. I found out the other week that my old dentist died of AIDS. Apparently he caught it from a patient, because he wasn't wearing gloves. I thought the chances of that happening were seriously small, you'd have to be pretty unlucky. IP: Logged |
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TashaJane Member |
posted 01-17-2007 01:45 PM
Ok, so, I think this is a pretty strange question. So, there's this guy I'm friends with and have been for awhile. Admittedly, I may have been in love with him at some point. Heck, maybe I still am, who knows? Anyway, said boy doesn't speak to me much when he's here (he's in the army), but when he's gone we talk all the time (every day this week). He also tends to avoid me like the plague when he has a girlfriend. Now you have the background, it's time for the question. I know men have the tendency to say they have large dicks. But this guy insists upon it (somewhat frequently) and it's just making me wonder why he keeps telling ME this. He knows I used to like him (whether I currently do is up in the air), and he and his girlfriend are taking a "break" till he gets back from Iraq. So...I guess the question is...what do you think? Am I crazy for thinking there's any real motive behind it? Is he just being a typical man? Help IP: Logged |
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Mistress Hibbins Member |
posted 01-17-2007 04:26 PM
If he feels the need to mention his penis in conversation to such a degree that you take notice and think it unusual, whatever his "motive" may be, and if he is the sort to "take breaks" on romantic partners, do not get into anything more serious than friendship with him. Yes, bragging constantly about the size of one's penis is weird, and highly immature. Does he talk about his member to everyone, or does he just mention it to you? Even if the penis-talk carries the ulterior motive of enticing you in particular to a deeper relationship, it should do the opposite. Any normal, mature, self-possessed person would simply profess his interest. And the whole "taking a break" from his girlfriend is suspect. The kind of people who profess to "taking breaks" are really just promiscuous, or unready for a longlasting, committed relationship, and are best avoided by those who seek more permanence. That is my advice. Perhaps your friend is otherwise benign and likeable--though it is odd that he only speaks to you when he is away; that does not sound very genuinely friendly--but keep him at arm's length, if you intend to keep him at all. IP: Logged |
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Mistress Hibbins Member |
posted 01-17-2007 04:32 PM
I forgot one thing: Do not ever put off inappropriate behavior on the part of males as them just being "typical men." It is not just "typically male" to, as in the above example, brag about the size of one's penis, or to flirt with other females when one is in a supposedly committed relationship, or to be a slob, or to be boorish, or what have you. I believe that women on the whole need to hold their sons and lovers to proper standards. No more should we say things like "just a typical guy" or "boys will be boys." IP: Logged |
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TashaJane Member |
posted 01-17-2007 05:05 PM
I only say "typical guy behavior" because, frankly, I hear that sort of thing a lot. In hallways, on the street...all over the place. I think it's mostly from teenagers, which makes me laugh. I've had 28 year old men confess the opposite. Not that I attract that many men, or anything, but I have a lot of male friends and tend to hear these things. I don't think my friend is being too bad by saying these things, I just say "yeah right" or some sort of disbelief and the subject ends in the course of 2 minutes, max. It was not his idea to take a "break" in his current relationship, it was her idea. If he had his way I'm sure they'd be married by now. However, she's a senior in high school and wants a chance to live life - and he's in Iraq. IP: Logged |
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slightlyconfuzzled Member |
posted 01-21-2007 10:26 PM
Do you think there is a difference between not wanting to live anymore and wanting to die? IP: Logged |
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MusicalTheatreObsessed Member |
posted 01-21-2007 10:42 PM
If you or anyone else is feeling either of these, they should talk to someone about it. I would be willing to say there is a very small difference between them, but both are not things someone should feel. IP: Logged |
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slightlyconfuzzled Member |
posted 01-21-2007 11:03 PM
Oh don't worry I don't. It just a question I randomly asked because, well, I wanted to hear your thoughts. Really. I don't feel this way. I have too many things I want to do and try before I die. IP: Logged |
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munchkin Member |
posted 01-22-2007 07:03 AM
I've never really thought about it, but I suppose there is a bit of difference. If someone told me they didn't want to live anymore, I think that would be worse than saying they wanted to die, because it would feel more like there was so much happening that they couldn't cope with that they just didn't want to carry on with their life; wanting to die seems a bit more like an easy way out, without thinking about it too much. I didn't explain that very well, but in my head there's a difference. IP: Logged |
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TashaJane Member |
posted 01-22-2007 11:54 PM
I think there is a difference. A lot of people say they don't want to live anymore because they're bogged down with problems, or stressed out. But someone saying they want to die is saying that they want to officially end it. I think there's a huge gap there. Saying you don't want to live means just sort of casually ceasing to exist, whereas wanting to die is leading towards physically taking your own life. That's how I see it, anyway. IP: Logged |
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kd_230692 Member |
posted 01-23-2007 01:00 AM
quote: *sigh* yes. well, with hiv+. a friend revealed it to me when i wrote a bunch of stories about a character with hiv+. he is no longer in touch with me... i have been very afraid to contact him again cause the last time we talked it turned into something huge and yeah.... anyways, i have a problem... i have this friend and stuff... and i think i fallened for this person. thing is, i know i'm not this person's type. should i tell this person my feelings or should i just leave it be and savour the friendship? -john IP: Logged |
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FlyingMonkey Member |
posted 01-23-2007 10:48 PM
O.k. I have a very random question. What is yall's favorite Starbucks drinks. Mine is White Chocolate Mocha!  IP: Logged |
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slightlyconfuzzled Member |
posted 01-23-2007 10:52 PM
Personally, I think all of their hot drinks taste like crap. I like their ice frappuccinos, preferrably Vanilla Bean... And thanks for the insight on my question. IP: Logged |
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FlyingMonkey Member |
posted 01-23-2007 10:53 PM
quote: Well I have always heard that if you start to go out with a freind in many ways it might feel weird to go out with this person. Also I heard that if it does not work out between you and they freind than your entire friendship is ruined. But if you feel a real connection between the both of you then go for it! IP: Logged |
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slightlyconfuzzled Member |
posted 02-17-2007 05:28 PM
Maybe this might result in some rule-breaking, but I want to know and I'd rather ask a group of intelligent people rather than my friens because they are conformists and can't think for themselves, yet. Capitalism or socialism? IP: Logged |
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Mistress Hibbins Member |
posted 02-17-2007 06:34 PM
Capitalism--with a few anti-trust precautions taken to help keep the competitive spirit from stagnating and quality from plumetting, because the consumer is too complacent to be counted on to do so entirely on his own.
I do not believe in socialism because it would be extremely expensive for the government to take on more repsonsibilities than it already has--other countries of a more socialist persuasusion than the United States have much larger tax burdens. I also believe that if certain industries--like the medical industry--were socialized then the quality of available care and treatment would go down, and I know that personal freedom would disappear as people would no longer be able, for example, to "shop around" for the best physician. Ideologically I do not buy into the "wealth redistribution" aspect of socialism because under a capitalist system every person has the opportunity to attain wealth, whether one wants to believe it or not. It may be argued that the opportunity is not of equal magnitude for all individuals, but it exists for everyone. It all comes down to personal responsilbility and whether one is willing to take the risks and to put in the work neccessary to take advantage of the opportunity. [This message has been edited by Mistress Hibbins (edited 02-17-2007).] IP: Logged |
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Idina*rox*my*sox Member |
posted 02-18-2007 07:29 AM
What do you do when the one thing you fear most seems to be everywhere around you? IP: Logged |
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Mistress Hibbins Member |
posted 02-18-2007 09:34 AM
What could that "one thing" be if it is "everywhere around you"? IP: Logged |
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lostladyknight Moderator |
posted 02-18-2007 11:11 AM
Perhaps her "one great fear" is similar to mine. I am terrified of change. Terrified. I don't even like it if the spots for the forks and spoons get switched in the silverware drawer. I have to fix it, or get an explanation as to why it was changed. I am so afraid of even the smallest changes that my life is routined down to the very smallest details. Like the way I keep my change sorted by year and how aged they look, or the way I do the exact same thing every single morning, afternoon, and night. It's so bad that if I have to go grocery shopping it has to be at certain times or it messes with my routine. Anyway... as I was saying... maybe her fear is something like that... something non tangible but still terrifying. Like Change or Love or death or commitment. IP: Logged |
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helenbooktrip Moderator |
posted 02-18-2007 12:12 PM
what are your opinions on flirting with other people while in a committed relationship? is it bad to flirt? or is it harmless? what are the boundaries? as to the question someone asked about ther greatest fear being al around them...well i would take it as an opportunity to overcome that fear! [This message has been edited by helenbooktrip (edited 02-18-2007).] IP: Logged |
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Mistress Hibbins Member |
posted 02-18-2007 03:37 PM
If one finds oneself inclined to flirt with others while in a committed relationship, one should probably rethink that relationship. I find that when I am in the midst of what I would call a truly "committed" (i.e. temporarily monogamous--I am never looking to marry anybody) relationship, I just don't have eyes for anyone else. When other people start to look tempting, that is usually a sign that the relationship has begun to die down. If you are flirting with other people and your relationship is what you would call really committed--that is, you are thinking about spending eternity with one another--I would do some serious thinking. One never wants to end up stuck with one person but always finding that the grass looks greener over other fences--that is not fair to either party involved. IP: Logged |
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Rhiannon18 Moderator |
posted 03-03-2007 02:07 PM
Okay, so some sucky things have happpened to me during my life, dad moved in with other woman while my rents were seperated, a messy divorce, my brother developed a blood clot and died, my moms had a couple brain tumors (none of them cancerous thank god) and my sister has suffered from eating disorders, depression, bipolar disease, and they think she has multiple personality disorder. Also Ive recently been told I prolly have a disease but the only way to find out is to go through surgery---not something i wanna do. The only reason Im saying this is so you know Im not just like "oooh my life is so hard i dont have a yacht blah blah." and im not looking for pity cause its a waste of time and it wont change anything, and on the whole my life is pretty good, and I dont like to concetrate on the sucky stuff. It happens. But i was talking to a friend of mine (though he has some problems of his own...) and he was complaining about how he was stalking/in love with this kid who didnt even know he exsisted, and then out of nowehere he says "Oh but why complain to you because of couuurrssee your life must be OH so much harder than mine." But I was really hurt, ecspecially because he didnt apoligize just continued to yell at me. And I was upset because hes acting like I use these things for ammuniation or some stupid sympathy card, which I dont. I dont like talking about it. But I was wondering what people think i should have said to him when he yelled at me---or if they think I was being to sensitive that I was hurt that he yelled at me for having some sucky things happen. IP: Logged |
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lostladyknight Moderator |
posted 03-03-2007 09:14 PM
I once had a girl tell me I couldn't possibly understand loss... or every be a good friend to her because she'd suffered so many hardships, and I couldn't imagine what it was like to hurt. I am always willing and wanting to be there for people, to be a friend. But this girl... I didn't know what to say. I was at a cast party and I decided to leave it all alone. I simply said "You should really think about things before you speak." I left her where she sat and went to the other room. A few people saw the exchange, some who knew my past, some who didn't. I really didn't care to tell her anything personal about my life. I don't know if I behaved properly or not. But sometimes it's best just to ignore people like that. I realize he was being insensitive and an overall asshole. I don't know how to advise you... but I'd talk to him and be like "Your problems are important to me and I want to be there for you, but you have to respect that I have problems too, nobody's life is perfect." If he doesn't respect you after that... don't speak to him again. IP: Logged |
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Idina*rox*my*sox Member |
posted 03-05-2007 01:10 AM
I really really hate it when people say "I understand what you're feeling" that is one of the worst things things you can say to someone if they're upset or suffered a loss or anything. IP: Logged |
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lostladyknight Moderator |
posted 03-05-2007 12:45 PM
I don't know if that was directed to me or not, but it felt like you were trying to tell me to shut up. I'm sorry if you don't think that my methods of giving advice are good enough. IP: Logged |
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Saint Aelphaba Moderator |
posted 03-05-2007 03:43 PM
Is it odd, to entertain the idea of liking someone, not because they are *much* older than you, but because they are smarter than you? In other words, does it really matter how far apart you are in age? IP: Logged |
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lostladyknight Moderator |
posted 03-05-2007 05:56 PM
Edited because there is a better place and time for this conversation. [This message has been edited by lostladyknight (edited 03-07-2007).] IP: Logged |
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Mistress Hibbins Member |
posted 03-05-2007 10:10 PM
quote: Mmmmmnnn...I think I recall that you are a young teen, but how old, exactly, is this other person? I would argue that an age gap does matter when one of the parties is as young as you are. You can entertain any fleeting notions that you please, but do not initiate a relationship with someone who qualifies as "much" older than you are. Just don't. If you are really attracted to this individual because he is "smarter" than you are, think very long and hard about that. Is that really what you mean? That makes me leery--you should be attracted to someone who would be an intellectual complement to you, but to seek out someone who is "superior" often means that one is looking for a source of authority and control. A much older man is definitely the wrong place to look for those things when one is as young a girl as you are. And if he takes a strong interest in you, walk the other way--older men who enter relationships with young girls never, ever have good intentions. In short: yes, it can matter very much how far apart two people are in age. Legality is not the only concern, and not even neccessarily the most important. IP: Logged |
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Mistress Hibbins Member |
posted 03-05-2007 10:12 PM
And as a final note: we all know under what circumstances the legality of a relationship comes into play. If you are as young as I think you are, you should not be having sex with anyone. IP: Logged |
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Saint Aelphaba Moderator |
posted 03-05-2007 11:04 PM
Point well taken. Thank you. IP: Logged |
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lostladyknight Moderator |
posted 03-06-2007 12:38 AM
Edited. Because I'd reather just talk about this one in private. [This message has been edited by lostladyknight (edited 03-07-2007).] IP: Logged |
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Idina*rox*my*sox Member |
posted 03-06-2007 04:37 AM
quote: Oh, I'm really sorry, LLK that was DEFINATELY not intended for you. I was just pondering on the fact that you said this person had no idea of your situation and in contrast how people say they understand when they don't and also some events that had happened that day in regards to people saying they understand. IP: Logged |
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lostladyknight Moderator |
posted 03-06-2007 12:44 PM
Sorry... I guess I just though you were really trying to respond to me. I was wrong I guess. I'm sorry. IP: Logged |
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Idina*rox*my*sox Member |
posted 03-07-2007 03:13 AM
It's all good Ahh...the misunderstandings when not speaking face to face... IP: Logged |
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MusicalTheatreObsessed Member |
posted 03-07-2007 08:43 PM
Edited because I don't actually feel like sharing anymore haha. [This message has been edited by MusicalTheatreObsessed (edited 03-07-2007).] IP: Logged |
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lostladyknight Moderator |
posted 03-19-2007 07:59 PM
The other day, I had to go to the bank and I sat in the car for twenty minutes preparing myself. I had to think about who I'd approach, what I'd do if I got caught in a line. The problem was, I was afraid of being around strangers. It's getting really bad. I hate being around strangers if I'm not with someone I'm comfortable with. It's getting out of control though, like to the point that I avoid it at all costs. I wait to go grocery shopping until a friend asks for a ride, first day of classes is terrifying, I sit in the back, away from people. I won't wait in line for things like autographs at shows, because I'm afraid someone will touch me, or bump into me, or something. I'd be induced into conversation, which would lead to... well I don't know. I'm just scared. But basically... every time I get close to a stranger things change. I hate change, and I'm always sacared, always afraid of them. I don't know why... it's like my guardians. I'll never stop being afraid of them. So what should I do? Should I keep protecting myself? Should I try to break myself of my fear? I just don't know. [This message has been edited by lostladyknight (edited 03-23-2007).] IP: Logged |
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