posted 06-26-2008 07:05 PM               

i think another reason my boyfriends don't consider it cheating if i hook up with another girl is because they know i'm only doing it for the physical pleasure, and that i don't have serious feelings or intentions other than to experience things with a girl that i (obviously) can't with him. also, at my age (even though i consider myself bi already) i think we should be free to experiment like this.

posted 06-26-2008 08:22 PM               

i did "find out," i guess you could say, that i was bi when i had a serious crush on a girl. (it didn't work out.) now i don't think i'll be involved in another relationship with a girl until i'm out of high school. all the girls in my school are superficial, fake bitches. i wouldn't even be friends with them.

posted 06-27-2008 10:02 PM               

If you want criminal records for someone, how do you get them?

I'd like the ones from my family. My mother and brother mostly.

Also...

For a friend of mine. (Just found out he's a registered sex offender... talking to him didn't produce much info.)

(Some of you older members know that I have a past with the legal system. I'm requesting that you don't all go try to find info on me/my family without asking me first but since I have posted about it in the past I presume some of you have already looked up what you could.)

I do request that people don't nose into my business and if you have questions just to ask me. But, moral of the story is, I keep hitting dead ends.

Sooo... does anyone have any info on legal records?

posted 06-28-2008 12:44 AM               

Sooo I was trying to figure out what he did.

(I know that's wrong. I've heard all the lectures.)

posted 06-28-2008 09:48 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by lostladyknight:

Sooo I was trying to figure out what he did.

(I know that's wrong. I've heard all the lectures.)

---

Well, I don't think that's wrong of you. If I found out a friend I've known for ten years were a sex-offender, I'd definitely want to know whether or not he, say, molested or raped a small child. Knowledge like that would be a friendship-breaker for me, ten years or no.

posted 06-28-2008 10:02 AM               

Depending on how much effort you want to put into it- check old newspapers at the library. I'd say if it was something more serious than statutory rape then it would have been in the paper.

posted 06-28-2008 11:06 AM               

quote:

---

Originally posted by Mistress Hibbins:
Knowledge like that would be a friendship-breaker for me, ten years or no.

---

See I don't want that to be the truth. You know? It's actually only been about seven years?? (I rounded up.) But seven years of friendship is a long, long, time to give up.

I don't want to.

So if I learned something like that about him the truth is I wouldn't know where to begin reacting. I still want to know though.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Minxy:

But my very honest opinion is to ask him. If you've known him that long and he hasn't told you about this then I think you have a right to ask him about it.

---

I did ask him. The problem is that he and I "went for a walk" one day before D&D started. I wanted to tell him that there was a link to him directly on the school's web page and to ask him what happened.

He and I were tlaking and got as far as what it's like for him every day when two people came outside and tried to listen to what we were talking about. Demanding, no less, that we tell them because "they really wanted to know." As IF that justified them nosing into OUR private business.

I refused. Told them that they were out of line and that he and I should be able to have a private conversation if we want. Then I hugged my friend and went back inside.

That was about two months ago though and we haven't discussed it again since. It was a statutory rape charge but he claims that it happened when he was 16 but it took them 4 years to bring it to trial.

I guess I can't help but wonder. I mean I met him when I was 14 and he was *almost* 21. It's always been weird to me that he and I have been friends as close as we are and for as long as we were given the huge age difference. I've even joked about it being wrong... I guess I just... yeah. Feel terrible about that.

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).]

posted 06-28-2008 01:29 PM               

You have a right to know if someone you spend a significant amount of time with is a sexoffender and why. I don't think it is wrong of you at all to want to know.

posted 08-02-2008 10:06 PM               

Okay. So. This fall I am (yet again) applying to institutions of higher education. I could finish out and get my bachelor's at FIT, but since they are oh-so-fabulous in some regards, the whole school operates on a "two by two" system; that is, after two years in a specific major you are awarded an Associate's Degree and you are allowed to reapply for two more years to get a Bachelor' degree. I, however, am considering other paths in life. Mainly, the callous dream to go to NYU.

Now, before I begin to ramble (right?) I'll get to the point: I have to send my SAT scores, and I am not permitted to retake them and I am at a loss as to which scores to send, since I took the test twice.

So, I ask you all: is it better to send in a relatively high and above-average verbal score combined with a relatively low and below-average Math score, or is it better to send two roughly equivalent scores? Keep in mind both overall tests are more or less equal, although the former is slightly higher.

posted 08-03-2008 12:13 AM               

If that's not the case with your school then I think I agree and would go with the former. The highest overall test score is going to show to be the most effective. Aside, you're not majoring in anything math related right? So the school/schools shouldn't look at that part of the test as heavily as your verbal score.

Do you mind, perchance, my asking what your "low" math score was? I'll gladly tell you my scores if you're interested.

-LLK

posted 08-03-2008 12:59 AM               

However, if schools judge your SAT anything like they judged my ACT, then absolutely go for the first one with one higher score, and one not quite so strong. All of my schools told me right out that it was my English and Writing scores that impressed them. I have a 32 in English, and between at 26-29 in the rest of the categories (ie: science/math and the like). Whilst it is all "decent", I really shined in the English section and it worked out highly in my benefit. The school I decided on typically requires a 3.75 gpa, and they were willing to overlook my MUCH lower gpa in favor of a strong English ACT score.

Good luck with whichever you choose. Had it been more affordable, I certainly would have applied to NYU. Talk about dream school.

posted 08-03-2008 09:55 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by wehttaM:
I was under the impression that they were slowly trying to do away with the SAT in favor of the ACT. In my area, the SAT isn't even an option.

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posted 08-03-2008 06:46 PM               

Thank you for the advice everyone!

posted 08-10-2008 02:14 PM               

If "someone" were to have sex after a first date completely on the basis of hitting it off and have a nice date, and not at all due to love or commitment, does that make "someone" a whore?

posted 08-23-2008 12:28 AM            

Unless I'm in a moving vehicle or multitasking somehow, I have to pace when I listen to music. My thoughts and imagination can't get caught up in what I'm listening to otherwise. It's weird and kind of embarrassing, and I can't find any online resources on the behavior. That's the only time I pace, too--I don't do it when I'm agitated or anything.

Does anyone else do this?

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posted 08-23-2008 03:43 AM               

No matter how dedicated I am to the music or conversation... I simply can't give it 100% of my focus.

posted 09-15-2008 11:52 AM            

As I'm sure you're all aware from some of my more recent posts, my relationship has been back and forth for the past few months, and is likely on it's last thread. I have come to accept that it will not last much longer, and sad though it'll be, I know it's for the best.

So, in Feb 2006, I met a great guy while on business in San Jose for this event we did once a year. We chatted a bit during the week and became friends and then we left for our respective homes (at the time he was living in ATL, but traveled all the time for work). Anyway, we caught up again the next year (Feb 2007) in San Fran for the same event. When we were in SF, we really got to know each other better over the course of the week, and really started to like each other, but kept our distance due to my relationship, but we made sure to keep in touch. Over the next year or so (after our second meeting in SF), I left my job with that company and no longer saw him, but we made sure to talk on the phone, email, etc. We had some very intimate conversations... which probably wasn't the best decision.

To this day, I'm still attracted to him, and have come to regret that I met him at a time in my life that I was unavailable. He's coming to up to Boston for work in October so we're making plans to meet up.

Now, my worry is this... it took all my strength and willpower not to kiss him 3 years ago in SF, but I don't know if that'll hold up when I see him this time. Is it worse to kiss him, while I'm still in a relationship, crumbling though it may be, or always regret that I never got a chance to just kiss this guy, since I don't know when -or if for that matter- I'll see him again?

My head and heart are pulling me in numberous directions. I just need someone to tell me that I'm not going to make a horrible decision and that it's okay... maybe.

------------------

posted 09-15-2008 01:19 PM               

I hope so, because I'm going to: If you know the relationship is crumbling and probably done, why don't you break it off officially. Ideally, that would you leave free to kiss the man that you clearly care for (and he for you) without guilt.

Without having that information, I can give my thoughts, but not guarentee they will stay the same depending how you answer my question.

I think that best case scenario, you explain to this man your current romantic situation completely honestly. If you intend to leave him, tell your "friend" that. If not, tell him that! I don't want to pretend I've made the best relationship decisions in the past and whatnot, but frankly... If you kiss him but have no chance of being with him, it seems fruitless. On the other hand, if you want to be with him, and he with you, then it is almost justifiable... I think.

Part of me thinks that somewhere out there a fundamentalist Christian is in pain from that statement. But you're not just being the whore who cheats as it may be viewed. You have a decent argument for both sides.

I can to persuade you to be dishonest, but I should warn... Getting caught with your hand in the cookie jar is never fun. Be careful.

posted 09-15-2008 01:35 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by wehttaM:
If you know the relationship is crumbling and probably done, why don't you break it off officially. Ideally, that would you leave free to kiss the man that you clearly care for (and he for you) without guilt.

---

Well, that's a whole other complicated situation. We have a lease together until the end of March. I know it's not smart to stay with someone just for that reason, and I'm not saying that we are, because we certainly aren't. I think we're both grasping onto some hope that things will work out, but neither one of us will be crippled if they don't. So essentially, we're just waiting it out to see if things can improve (drastically) by the end of March, and if they don't, we'll part ways.

But thanks for your help nonetheless. The good thing is, this "friend" knows my whole situation and is sympathetic. That makes it that much harder not to want him so much more. I hate the way emotions work sometimes.

Oh and the other thing is, I'm torn altogether because I don't know if I'd ever be able to have a successful relationship with him, because he doesn't live in this area, and he travels a lot for work, and I'm not into that. I want someone who's around. And that doesn't necessarily mean he'll always do that, but I also have a hard time thinking about leaving where I am. My family means more to me than anyone and I'm not sold on the idea of moving away from everyone.

And I should clarify, he's not moving here to work. Just visiting for a week, he lives in SC and will be working from home (and on the road) for a company out of MD.

------------------

posted 09-16-2008 06:40 AM               

The problem is that as much as I want to tell you that this kind of triangle is never a good thing and for you to run the other direction, I can't.

Having been in a similar situation I wouldlove to tell you to run for the hill. Too bad it's way more complicated than that. I'm pretty happy, overall.

Anyway, have you ever heard of the concept of emotional infadelity? Sounds like you're already participating in a bit of that. So, if your toes are already wet, why not dive in? Yeah... I'm encouraging you. With your relationship the way it is, I think you should see how things can go with the other guy. If anything at all, it'll help clarify weather or not your relationship with your current man is salvagable at all.

Go for the kiss. See if there are any sparks. There may not be...

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posted 09-16-2008 09:07 AM            

In any case, then I suppose I am an "emotional infidel". A part of me thinks it's wrong... but another part gets an adrenaline rush when I think about it.

We've all got a little bit of "bad" in us, don't we?

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posted 09-27-2008 10:18 AM               

i've decided to let my eyebrow close up. i've had it pierced for about 6 months now and it's never healed properly (it was all my fault though). i want it to close up nicely so i can get it re-pierced asap. any tips on how i can help it heal all the way now?

posted 09-27-2008 07:53 PM               

quote:

---

Originally posted by wehttaM:
Any time I've decided to let something close I've just covered it in neosporin. I've never gotten a scar.

---

that's what my mom told me, but i've heard that you're not supposed to put neosporin on eyebrow piercings...well you have one, have you ever used neosporin on it?